"The Order of the Sparrow" is the twelfth and last episode of the first season of Camp Camp.
|“||In an attempt to get the kids in the camp spirit, David initiates them into a dated ritual called The Order of the Sparrow. When he promises the kids will get a prize, they jump at the opportunity to join. But what if the prize sucks?||”|
David awakens the campers in his guise of "Chief Squatting Bear" for Camp Campbell's "Order of the Sparrow" ritual. David receives a lukewarm response of the campers and other staff, but his promise of a "prize" makes them jump at the opportunity. much to his joy. As David announces the rules and ceremony, he optimistically walks off as only Max continues to scoff.
As the day progresses, the campers try to suck up to David in unsuccessful ways, such as removing all dirt from the camp or showing a (false) love of nature, in hopes of getting the mysterious prize. Max, however, forces David to admit that the prize is a bonfire dedicated to the campers and, in the process, realizes they do not care. Even Gwen is appalled that the prize was so mundane when the campers were expecting more. David attempts to show them how awesome the ceremony is, but a downpour halts his attempts and the campers abandon him.
Alone and still fruitlessly attempting to light the bonfire, David is once again confronted by Max, who lets David feel the full fury of his cynicism, telling him that the world is terrible and not cheerful like him and he needs to act accordingly. This time, though, David is finally broken by Max and admits that he's fully aware of how little the campers, other staff, and even the founder care, how underfunded the camp is, and how it isn't what it used to be - but he is still cheerful because someone has to be for the campers. David's depressed admission visibly shocks Max as David continues to try in vain to light the bonfire, only to have his lighter break, causing David to finally freak out and have the logs fall on him.
David awakens to see everyone gathered around him and dressed in Native American garb for the ritual, saying how much they appreciate him. When the bonfire is lit, the face of Cameron Campbell (claiming to be the spirit of the Order of the Sparrow) appears in the smoke; he announces his pride and appreciation for David, and adds that he is David's real father. David, extremely moved, asks if he's dreaming, and the spirit responds that of course he is (much to David's disappointment).
As he awakens for real, David sees everyone in outfits again - but this time in the style of clothing usually worn in India. They actually decide to play along for David's sake, finally realizing how much he tries for them. Max returns with David's repaired staff, emotionally moving David. Max tells him not to read too deeply into his actions, as he claims he's only playing along because he was worried he'd drive David to suicide or mass murder - but David is still moved by Max's change of heart.
As the bonfire is lit, Gwen sings a slow, gentle version of David's "Camp Camp Song Song", to everyone's delight. David then asks Max how he started a fire with wet wood, and Max says that he used gasoline. With this, the logs explode (much to Nikki's delight).
- The transcript for "The Order of the Sparrow" may be edited here.
David: Camp Campbell campers!
- *dramatic drumming*
David: I am sure you must be wondering who we are, but have no fear. I —
Max: David, what the fuck are you doing?
David: I am not David! Though... if he were here he'd tell you to mind your language. I am chief Squatting Bear.
Space Kid: Oohhh, that's awesome.
Nikki: Gwen, why is David dressed like a turkey?
Gwen: Because he's fucking David, Nikki. You've been here long enough to figure that out.
David: Gwen! Don't break character! And I'm not a turkey. I'm an Indian chief.
Neil: Like Max?
David: What? Uh — No! Like the Cherokees! You know, WOWOWOWOWOWO!
Max: Wow, that is racist.
Neil: Seriously. Are you offended?
Quartermaster: Silence! Do your thing.
David: Uh... Right. We represent the Order of the Sparrow. A secret society that gathers only to honor the most worthy of campers.
Nikki: So then what are you doing here?
David: *sighs* Look, guys, the Order's been around since I was a camper. It's a huge honor! And it's really cool!
Max: I'll believe that when I see it.
David: Oh, you will, Max, because today you will all be given the chance to prove your worth.
Harrison: *whining* Do we have to?
David: No, but — WAIT! Never mind! It's mandatory!
David: But, those of you who are accepted into the Order will receive the ultimate prize.
Nikki: Huh? There's a prize?
Neil: What is it?
Dolph: Tell us now, turkey-man!
Gwen: Yeah. Wait, what prize?
David: All will be revealed at the setting of the sun, sister Gwen. So, shall we begin?
Max: Well this is stupid.
Neil: Seriously. "Do good every day?" That's just bad grammar.
Nikki: I think it's "Do good", like a superhero.
Dolph: I could be the hero this camp deserves.
Preston: I can be nice! I'm the nicest!
David: Great! Because you all have until sundown to convince me.
Nikki: David! You know me! You know I love nature! You know if I could I would have BABIES with nature. So do I get my prize now?
David: Calm down, Nikki.
Nurf: Step off! May I help you up, David?
David: Nurf! That was —
Nurf: A very kind gesture, I know. So can my prize be cigarettes?
Gwen: You sure this will work?
David: Uh... Yes?
Harrison: Oh, Nerris, you clumsy fool! Never fear. I shall save you out of the kindness of my gold heart.
Dolph: David, please. Allow me to assist you with the consumption of your sandwich. *chewing* There we are. All chewed up for you!
Dolph: Here comes the zeppelin!
David: Gah! *yelling*
Dolph: Resistance is futile, turkey-man!
David: What in the —
Preston: Hey, David. Like what I've done with the place?
David: Wh-what did you do to the camp?!
Preston: I cleaned it! The floors were covered in dirt!
David: That's because it's the forest!
Preston: I know! I really did some good today. So for my prize, I was thinking of a Broadway deal.
David: Preston, put it all back now! Please!
Preston: But —
Ered: I'm on it!
- *truck reversing*
- *hydraulics hissing*
Ered: Uh, I'll take my hover boots now.
Neil: David, witness me. Witness my love for nature.
Neil: Ow! You whore! Let me love you, goddamnit!
Max: This doesn't count, David. They don't ACTUALLY care.
David: W-w-what do you mean? Of course they do! Look at 'em!
Max: No. They're just doing all of this because they think they'll get something awesome.
David: A little motivation never hurt anyone.
Max: Until they find out there IS no prize.
David: Of course there's a prize! It's a great prize!
Max: A new pony? A motorcycle? An electron microscope?!
David: No! It's better than all of that! It's symbolic and beautiful!
Max: Is it "a job well-done"? Because that's a fucking cop-out, David!
David: IT'S A BONFIRE!
Space Kid: What?!
David: A bonfire!
Neil: ...A bonfire.
David: Yes! It's the highest honor. The fire is lit with a flaming arrow signifying the —
Nikki: Wait. We don't actually get anything?
David: I mean... Of course you do! Everyone gets their own sash. Like this!
Preston: But it's so ugly!
Gwen: David, is this seriously it?
Max: Yeah, David.
David: Okay. You guys just aren't seeing it. I'm telling you. This is amazing. The big fire, there's music, a ceremony, oh! And the passing of the staff! The chief chooses a new member to carry his staff and lead the new generation of sparrows!
Neil: So, one of us gets a stick?
David: IT'S AN ANCIENT STAFF!
Quartermaster: Welp, this is a trainwreck.
David: No, wait, I'll show you! Let me just get it lit.
Gwen: David, let it go.
David: No, no, no! I can still light it! You'll see!
Neil: I can't believe I frenched a platypus for this.
Gwen: Come on, kids.
David: Guys, wait! I-I've almost got it, I'm sure! *grunts*
Max: Well, David, you were right. This IS amazing.
David: If I could just show you...
Max: Do you really think a big campfire and some outdated, honestly kind of racist tradition is going to make anyone care about anything? No one gives a shit, David. Nobody want to be here.
David: *grunting intensifies*
Max: God. It's like you live in this stupid make-believe world where "everything's great!" The universe doesn't work that way, idiot. Just look around. It's what I've been trying to show you since day one. Life sucks. And we live in a world of desensitized, apathetic assholes. Why don't you just get with the program and stop giving a shit.
David: You're right.
David: Times have changed. Whether I like it or not. The campers don't care, Gwen doesn't care, even the founder of this place has better things to do. That's why I'll never stop trying. Because somebody fucking has to.
David: Go back to your tent, Max... You'll just catch a cold.
David: Oh, give me a break!
Campers: Campe Diem, brother David.
David: Oh my gosh! You all look perfect!
Gwen: And it's all thanks to your guidance, David.
Quartermaster: Let us rejoice.
Spirit/Cameron: David, I am the spirit of the Order of the Sparrow. Thank you for showing the children the joy of camping, nature, and life. Also, hey! I'm your real father!
David: Oh thank you, spirit! This is all just so incredible! I feel like I'm dreaming!
Spirit/Cameron: That's because you are, idiot.
David: What —
Gwen: David. David? David, can you hear me?
David: Gwen? AAH!
Nikki: Wake up, buttercup!
Gwen: Nikki, no more arrows!
Nikki: You can't control me, white devil! WOWOWOWOWOWO!
David: You're all dressed up as...
Neil: Indians. Just like you said!
Dolph: We designed the outfits ourselves.
Preston: Do you love them? I LOVE THEM!
David: But, why?
Max: Alright, I fixed it. Everybody hurry up and... Ah, shit he's awake.
David: Max? Did you —
Max: DO NOT look too deeply into this. You suck, this world sucks, and one day we're all gonna die and none of it will matter, but if we didn't do this, I'm pretty sure you'd kill yourself or something.
David: sniffles* Oh, Max!
Max: Or shoot up the camp. I don't know. It was a possibility.
David: Thank you.
Max: Whatever. Just take your stupid stick.
Space Kid: Awww. Lucky.
Neil: You know, it is kinda nice.
- *guitar strum*
Gwen: ♪ There's a place I know that's tucked away... A place where you and I can stay. Where we can go to laugh and play, and have adventures every day. I know it sounds hard to believe, but guys and gals, it's true. ♪
David: Hey Max, how'd you start a fire with wet wood, anyway?
Max: I'm not an idiot, David. I used gasoline.
David: Wait, what?
Nikki: WOW! Do it again! Do it again!
Gwen: ♪ Camp Campbell is the place for me and you. ♪
- *"Keeper of the Flame" by Ricke Branson & Solar Slim playing*
- To see the full gallery, go to The Order of the Sparrow/Gallery.
No gallery for The Order of the Sparrow exists yet! You can create it here.
- The name and Native American theme of the "Order of the Sparrow" are an allusion to the "National Honor Society" of the actual Boy Scouts of America, the Order of the Arrow.
- David's first word to the campers this episode is "How", a Native American greeting (he, Gwen, and the Quartermaster are wearing Native American headgear). Max responds "Why", giving the previous word a double meaning.
- When David (as Chief Squatting Bear) claims that he is an "Indian chief", Neil suggests that Max is of Indian descent.
- The sign erected by the Quartermaster reads, "Law of the Order of the Sparrow: 1) Do good every day 2) Face the world with kindness 3) Love thy nature". #3 references Bible verse Mark 12:31 (which has also passed into common usage in general): "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." Neil says that #2 is just bad grammar (thinking that the intended expression is "do well"), but Nikki clarifies that it's referring to performing good actions.
- Dolph comments, "I could be the hero this camp deserves." This may be an allusion to the famous quote about Batman from the film The Dark Knight: "He's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now." In a later scene, Dolph tries to "help" David eat his sandwich by chewing it up and spitting it back out, as birds are famous for doing. When David runs away, Dolph replies. "Resistance is futile, turkey-man!" This is possibly a reference to the Borg in Star Trek, who often declare to their targets that "Resistance is futile".
- The "raining cats and dogs" gag from the episode "Reigny Day" returns, with a dog and a cat falling from the sky as it starts to rain.
- This is the first and only episode in which David swears.
- When David is unconscious, he dreams that the campers are all wearing Native American traditional clothing. When he wakes up, he sees the campers dressed up, but they are actually wearing the style of clothing often worn in India.
- Gwen willingly sings the "Camp Camp Song Song," alluding to (and contrasting with) the events of the first episode, "Escape from Camp Campbell", in which Gwen repeatedly refuses to let David sing it. The Quartermaster's usual hook hand is replaced by a "hand" with a guitar pick as he provides accompaniment.
- Lee Eddy, Gwen's voice actor, in preparing to record the finale's version of the "Camp Camp Song Song," would practice singing it as a lullaby to one of her children.