| “ | Oh no. I hope you learned, David. I hope you learned that before today, you only had one little bastard to deal with. But now you've got three! | ” |
— Max | ||
"Escape from Camp Campbell" is the 1st episode in the first season of the Web Series, Camp Camp, and is the 1st episode overall in the series.
Synopsis
| “ | Max tries to take advantage of the bus dropping off new campers to Camp Campbell to mount an escape. Newcomers Nikki and Neil ask some important questions, and David tries to sing a song. | ” |
—Episode Description | ||
Plot
A new day has dawned at Camp Campbell, and camp counselor David is delighted that two new campers will be joining them today, but isn't sure why Max is waiting with him. Max explains that he's not hoping to hitch a ride back to the city since the bus only comes to pick up and drop off campers. The bus then arrives, mowing down David in the process, bringing the excitable Nikki (who bites David in a show of dominance) and slightly neurotic Neil, here for Adventure Camp and Science Camp respectively, and then knocks David down again when Max tries to drive it to freedom. David orders that Max is not to leave his side for the rest of the day before beginning the tour, starting with the flagpole and then the mess hall, where counselor Gwen is struggling to keep everyone under control, especially Space Kid and Nurf.
Gwen begrudgingly gets the laser disk of the orientation video ready for Nikki and Neil, ignoring David's suggestion to play the Camp Campbell song instead. Before they can even play the video, David begins to gush about the camp's founder, Cameron Campbell, who unbeknownst to David, is there with them today for once, since he's hiding from the authorities. Nikki and Neil are still wondering about Adventure Camp and Science Camp, however, and Campbell accompanies Gwen, David and the kids on the tour since the FBI has just arrived. They arrive at the activities field where the other campers' interests, and the camp's shoddy equipment, are showcased: Extreme Sports (where Ered crashes through the half-pipe) Camp, Magic Camp, Space Camp, Theater Camp, Art Camp, Other Magic Camp (read: LARPing) and "lots more." David tries to play his song again to highlight it but is turned down again by Gwen, and Max tries to escape again, having made a life-sized replica of himself at knitting camp. Neil grows angry, having found the science camp, which is a few pieces of melted or mislabelled equipment, and beakers and flasks made of wood. It turns out that Nikki and Neil missed the fine print on the brochures, reading "and more" beneath the camps they thought they were signing up for, and Nikki reasons that Camp Campbell is " a sort of camp-camp."
Neil decries the setup as bullshit, but before Gwen can empathize, Campbell butts in, explaining that times have changed and children aren't interested in a traditional summer camp anymore, but America isn't a traditional country. His speech becomes more impassioned, but then the FBI screech into the field and begin firing upon Campbell, who briefly uses Space Kid as a shield while radioing for a helicopter to take him to the nearest international waters. Gwen suffers an anxiety attack, and while David attends to her, Max quickly convinces Neil to come with him as he tries to beat the Quartermaster back to the bus and escape. Nikki, a self-proclaimed agent of chaos, creates a distraction, asking David to sing the camp song, which he is delighted to do. Max, Nikki, and Neil make a run for it and are quickly pursued by Gwen and David, who are only pushed back when Nikki throws her 1st Day Camper badge at David. Max taunts the counselors before driving the bus to freedom. Within moments, the bus has been totaled, and the errant campers brought back to camp by the Sheriff of Sleepy Peak. Everyone has pretty much taken the incident in stride, but Max remains defiant. Before this day, David only had one self-proclaimed little bastard to deal with, but now he has three, as Max leads his new friends to the tents. Gwen is understandably morose about this development, but David remains chipper and is swiftly beaten to the ground with his own guitar.
Features
Main Characters
Supporting Characters
Minor Characters
- Quartermaster
- Dolph
- Space Kid
- Ered
- Harrison
- Nerris
- Nurf
- Preston Goodplay
- FBI Agents (first appearance)
- Sheriff Sal (first appearance)
- Candy (mentioned)
Location
- Camp Campbell
- Mess Hall
- Extreme Sports Camp
- Magic Camp
- Space Camp
- Theater Camp
- Art Camp
- Other Magic Camp
- Knitting Camp (mentioned)
- Spooky Island
Objects
- Camp Campbell bus
- Camp Camp brochures
- Adventure Camp brochure
- Science Camp brochure
- Ered's skateboard
- Space Kid's "spaceship"
- David's guitar
Music
- "Camp Camp Song Song" (Opening Theme)
- "Camp Camp Rap Rap" (Ending Theme)
Trivia
- Gwen repeatedly prevents David from singing a song, which turns out to be the Camp Camp Song Song. He finally gets to sing the beginning of the song after Nikki asks him to, but it turns out to be a distraction so she, Max, and Neil can escape. From the next episode onwards, the song is the opening theme of the show.
- Cameron Campbell uses Space Kid's helmet to deflect bullets, showing just how durable it is.
- Max is shown to be skilled at knitting as he was able to knit three life-sized dolls of himself, Nikki and Neil.
- The Quartermaster is shown to be immune to food poisoning as he is seen drinking a bottle of poison as if it was water during his break.
Cultural References
- The petals of the flower on Dolph's painting resembles the Nazi symbol whereas the armband on the dog that he drew resembles the Nazi armband.
- The title of the episode may be a reference to the film Escape from New York.
Continuity
- Gwen mentions that she has a Liberal Arts degree which was later mentioned again in "Gwen Gets a Job" and "Quest to Sleepy Peak Peak."
Errors
- The bus's design changes after David gets hit by it the second time and returns to its previous design at the end of the episode.
- The bus's design changes a second time when the camera panned to Max when he tells David that he hoped that he was the one who learned a lesson.
- Ered's skateboard disappears after Mr. Campbell starts his speech.
- Gwen's clipboard disappears after Campbell started his speech.
- The bus changes sizes after Max tells David that he has three bastards to deal with now.
- Space Kid's "spaceship" and the supplies from both Art and Theatre Camp are all grouped together in the middle of the field instead of their respective camps after the FBI ran over them with their car.
- The life-sized doll of Max disappears after David takes Max back to the group.
- David disappears after Campbell tells Neil about the "and more" part of the brochure.
- Space Kid is seen outside of Space Camp and is still struggling to get up when in fact he fell off his "space ship" in Space Camp.
- Ered changed positions after Neil starts complaining about Camp Campbell.
- Dolph and Space Kid changed positions after the FBI stopped by the second time.
- The platform from Space Camp disappears after Gwen starts to name each camp.
- Campbell is seen wearing his old scarf from his younger years during the scene where he witnesses the FBI's arrival. The scarf then disappears afterwards.
- Gwen disappears after Campbell's copter arrives.
Transcript
- The transcript for "Escape from Camp Campbell" may be edited here.
- *Eagle screeching* ↗️
David: Can you believe it, Max? We're getting not one, not three, but two new campers today! ↗️
Max: Yup. It's really, truly horrifying. ↗️
David: Horrifying? What, are you afraid of making a few new friends? ↗️
Max: I'm not here to make friends, David. I'm here because camp is where kids are sent when their parents don't want to deal with them. ↗️
Max: Why do you think we return the favour when they hit seventy? ↗️
David: Hang on a sec, what are you even doing out here? ↗️
Max: Well, it's definitely not because the bus only comes in from the city to drop off and pick up campers ↗️
Max: And so far seems to be my only reasonable method of escaping this fucking nightmare of a camp. ↗️
Max: Definitely not that. ↗️
David: Heeeeyy... language. ↗️
Max: Suck a dick— ↗️
David: All I want is for you kids to have as much fun as I did when I was a Campbell camper. ↗️
David: Is that really too much to ask? ↗️
Max: I refuse to believe someone as happy as you can possibly exist. ↗️
- *bus honking* ↗️
David: *gasp* The bus is here! ↗️
David: Hello, welcome to Camp-- ↗️
- *David screaming* ↗️
Quartermaster: Kids are here. ↗️
Nikki: Ha! ↗️
Nikki: *heavily inhaling* ↗️
Nikki: Oh yeah, smell that nature! Oh that's the stuff. ↗️
David: Well hello there, little lady. You must be Nikki. ↗️
David: My name is David, your camp-- ↗️
- *David screaming in pain as Nikki bites him* ↗️
Neil: Um, excuse me? ↗️
Neil: Is this Science Camp? ↗️
Nikki: No, silly! ↗️
Nikki: This is Adventure Camp. Ad-ven-ture! ↗️
Nikki: My mom said so! Unless she was lying. Again. ↗️
Nikki: Sorry about that hand by the way. Just exerting dominance, you know how it goes. ↗️
David: Uh, and you must be Neil. ↗️
David: Well, you two will be happy to know that Camp Campbell is both of th-- ↗️
- *David screaming* ↗️
Max: Stupid prepubescent legs! ↗️
Quartermaster: Not today, child. Only one driving this bus is me. ↗️
David: Ugh. Thank you, Quartermaster. ↗️
Quartermaster: You're on your own, now. ↗️
Quartermaster: Going on break, be back for the bus at noon. ↗️
David: Max, you are not leaving my side for the rest of the day. ↗️
Max: We'll see about that, camp man. ↗️
Neil: So what's your deal? ↗️
Max: *sigh* I'm just a kid trying to survive out here, Neil. ↗️
David: Now let's go check out the camp, kids! ↗️
- *instrumental* ↗️
David: The first stop on any good tour is the flagpole! ↗️
David: I can't help but give it the official Camp Campbell salute every time I see it. ↗️
David: Beside the flagpole is our mess hall, which-- ↗️
David: Oh! Sorry, saw the flag again. ↗️
David: Beside the flagpole is our mess hall, which is connected to the Quartermaster Store. ↗️
David: It's here that we'll serve meals, hold announcements, and occasionally take part in camp activities. ↗️
David: Tell 'em just how much you love it, Max! ↗️
Max: See, that's the sad thing. He still actually thinks that I love it. ↗️
David: And who wouldn't? ↗️
David: Now, let's step inside and meet my co-counselor Gwen, who's in the middle of a camp activity right now! ↗️
David: Oho man, you're gonna love her. ↗️
David: Gooood morning, Gwen! ↗️
Gwen: Motherfucker! ↗️
Space Kid: Goooo! Crank it to high, I can take the G's! ↗️
Gwen: Nurf, you don't crank shit! Get down from there, Space Kid! ↗️
David: Oh dear! ↗️
Neil: What is going on here? ↗️
Max: I'm telling you, if we leave now, I can hot wire that bus. ↗️
Nikki: This is amazing! ↗️
Nurf: Buzzkill. ↗️
Space Kid: Oh-ho. ↗️
Space Kid: I'm okay. ↗️
David: What the gosh darn heck happened? ↗️
Gwen: Ugh, space kids just, y'know, pushing me to my limits again. ↗️
Space Kid: I will achieve space flight! ↗️
David: Well, we have new campers to introduce and orientate! ↗️
Neil: Ow. ↗️
Gwen: Jesus, that's right. ↗️
Gwen: Okay, let's... show them the video. ↗️
David: Actually, I was thinking I could play them that song I've been-- ↗️
Gwen: I'm gonna stop you, right there. ↗️
Gwen: No. ↗️
Gwen: I'll get the laser disk. ↗️
David: O-kay! ↗️
David: All you campers head over to the activities field for your afternoon sessions. ↗️
- *noises of complaint* ↗️
David: Uh-uh. Not you, Max. ↗️
Max: Dammit. ↗️
Neil: Will someone please talk to me about Science Camp? ↗️
Neil: None of those kids looked too science-y. ↗️
Nikki: What about that astronaut kid? ↗️
Neil: Astronauts, the wannabe jocks of the scientific community? Please. ↗️
David: Don't you worry kiddos, this video will explain everything. ↗️
David: It was put together by our founder, Cameron Campbell, back when I was an eager young camper just like yourselves! ↗️
David: he was an absolute legend-- oh, sorry, is an absolute legend. ↗️
David: A savvy businessman, extraordinary philanthropist, and one heck of an adventurer if I do say so myself. ↗️
David: Oh, it's true, Mr. Campbell doesn't often have time to come visit the camp anymore ↗️
David: What with him travelling the globe and, I'm assuming, saving lives. ↗️
David: But! He'll always live on in our hearts and minds. ↗️
David: It's like the man always said: We're here to have a great summer, and campe diem! ↗️
David: Oh, if only he were here now. ↗️
Campbell: I'm here now. ↗️
David: *gasp* Mr. Campbell!? ↗️
David: Wh-- what are you doing here, sir? ↗️
Campbell: *laughing* Well I'm certainly not hiding from any authorities if that's what you're thinking. ↗️
David: What? ↗️
Campbell: Haha, come on, Davey! ↗️
Campbell: You think I'd miss the opportunity to welcome our new Campbell campers to Cameron Campbell's Camp Campbell? ↗️
Gwen: You have for years, sir. ↗️
Campbell: Haha, oh Grace, you slay me! ↗️
Gwen: It's... Gwen. ↗️
Campbell: What did I say? ↗️
Nikki: Hey, brawny guy? ↗️
Nikki: This is Adventure Camp, right? ↗️
Neil: Yeah, so far every attempt to answer our questions just raises more questions. ↗️
Max: Hey, good for you! You're starting to catch on! ↗️
Campbell: Haha, don't worry kids! These two will take you on a tour of our great camp and answer any questions you might have. ↗️
- *Car screeching* ↗️
Campbell: In fact, we should go on that tour right now, all of us, together, away from this spot. ↗️
- *instrumental* ↗️
David: Here at Camp Campbell, we pride ourselves on the variety of our curriculum. ↗️
Gwen: There's Extreme Sports Camp, ↗️
Gwen: Magic Camp, ↗️
Nurf: *laughing* ↗️
Gwen: Space Camp, ↗️
Gwen: Theatre Camp, ↗️
Nurf: *laughing* ↗️
Gwen: Art Camp, ↗️
Dolph: It's a dog! ↗️
Gwen: Other Magic Camp, ↗️
Nerris: Lightning bolt! ↗️
Gwen: And lots more. Lots of stuff. ↗️
Nikki: How much more stuff? ↗️
David: Well I'm glad you asked, because I have a little song that I can sing-- ↗️
Gwen: No. ↗️
David: When Gwen's not around. ↗️
Gwen: By the way, Mr. Campbell, now that you're here maybe we can discuss just exactly how we're meant to operate at this scale— ↗️
Campbell: Hey, is that kid trying to escape? ↗️
Max: *panting* ↗️
- *thud* ↗️
Max: If I can just get to that bus before it heads back! ↗️
Max: Ah! ↗️
David: Looks like knitting camp wasn't as stupid as someone said, huh Max? ↗️
Max: You are the bane of my existence. ↗️
David: All right now, let's go. ↗️
Neil: Excuse me, what the hell is this? ↗️
David: Ah! I see you found it. ↗️
David: That, my friend, is science camp! ↗️
Neil: But but but-- this isn't what I signed up for! ↗️
Neil: I just wanted Science Camp, not Science Camp and more! I don't want more! ↗️
Campbell: Well that's why you read the fine print, sport! ↗️
Campbell: See, right there. And more. ↗️
Campbell: Now you can't sue us! ↗️
Nikki: So, what? It's just some sort of Camp Camp? ↗️
Campbell: Well I mean, I wouldn't exactly call it out like that. But yes. ↗️
Neil: This is bullshit! ↗️
Max: Woah, check out the balls on new kid. ↗️
Nikki: Where? ↗️
Neil: I don't know what kind of operation you think you're running, but I won't stand for it! ↗️
Neil: I'm a man of science! ↗️
Neil: You think you can rummage together some outdated equipment and call it a laboratory!? ↗️
Gwen: Look, kid, I know it's not-- ↗️
Campbell: Stand down, Gretchen. ↗️
Campbell: I'll speak to the children. ↗️
Campbell: Kids, I'm going to be blunt and honest with you. ↗️
Campbell: When I opened Camp Campbell all those years ago, I had one goal and one goal only. ↗️
Campbell: To create the most popular and successful summer camp in the world! ↗️
Campbell: But times have changed. ↗️
Campbell: Things like the internet, video games, and the Affordable Care Act are ruining this great country of ours, ↗️
Campbell: And the children of today just aren't interested in a traditional summer camp. ↗️
Campbell: But America isn't a traditional country! ↗️
Campbell: So why settle for anything less! ↗️
Campbell: You've got two acceptable counselors, one hell of a Quartermaster, and endless possibilities here at Camp Campbell. ↗️
Campbell: And by God, as long as I'm here-- ↗️
- *tires screeching* ↗️
- *gunshots* ↗️
Campbell: Code black, code black! ↗️
Campbell: Well, look at the time. Gotta go! ↗️
David: Sir! Where are you going? ↗️
Campbell: The nearest international waters, Davey. Have a great summer, kids! ↗️
Campbell: *fading away* And campe diem! ↗️
- *gunshots* ↗️
- *Tires screeching* ↗️
Nikki: He seems nice. ↗️
Gwen: Oh God it's coming back, the crippling anxiety and regret. ↗️
David: Uh, Gwen!? ↗️
Quartermaster: Well, time to be getting that there bus back to that there city. ↗️
Max: Neil, that bus is our only chance out of here. ↗️
Max: Do you want to spend the rest of your summer at this godforsaken place or do you want to enjoy the sweet taste of freedom? ↗️
Gwen: Why did I get a liberal arts degree? ↗️
Neil: Let's get the fuck out of here. ↗️
Nikki: Makin' a break for it? ↗️
Nikki: I can make a distraction for you. ↗️
Max: Why would you help us? ↗️
Nikki: I'm an agent of chaos. ↗️
Nikki: Hey David! ↗️
David: Yes Nikki! ↗️
Nikki: How about you pick up our spirits with that camp song you won't shut up about? ↗️
David: Well that's a great idea! ↗️
Gwen: Oh Jesus Christ no. ↗️
David: ♪ Ooooohhh ♪ ↗️
David: ♪ There's a place I know that's tucked away, a place where you and I can stay, ♪ ↗️
David: ♪ Where we can go to laugh and play and have adventures every day! ♪ ↗️
David: ♪ I know it sounds hard to believe but guys and gals it's true, Camp Campbell is the place for me and-- ♪ ↗️
Gwen: The kids are gone. ↗️
- *thud* ↗️
- *panting* ↗️
Quartermaster: No running. ↗️
- (It sucks!) I'm sorry I'm sorry (It always sucks!) I'm-- ↗️
Quartermaster: ... No running. ↗️
- *Kids panting* ↗️
Max: There it is! ↗️
Neil: They're right behind us! ↗️
David: Max, get back here! You are being a bad influence on our new campers! ↗️
Max: Never! ↗️
Nikki: Max, hurry! ↗️
- *dramatic music* ↗️
Nikki: Heee-ya! ↗️
David: Oh! ↗️
Gwen: Oof! ↗️
Nikki and Max: *laughing* ↗️
Max: Remember this face, David, cause you'll never see it again! ↗️
- *tires screeching* ↗️
Max: *laughing* ↗️
Sheriff: I'm getting real tired of having to come up here, David. ↗️
David: I know, Sal. ↗️
Max: We were so close! ↗️
Neil: Well, I mean in hindsight none of us really know how to drive. ↗️
Gwen: Yeah, honestly Max, how far did you expect to make it? ↗️
Nikki: Imma be real, I just always wanted to drive a bus. ↗️
David: Well kids, I hope we all learned something today. ↗️
Max: Oh, no. I hope YOU learned, David. ↗️
Max: I hope you learned that before today, you only had one little bastard to deal with. ↗️
Max: But now you've got three. ↗️
Max: Let's go, guys. I'll take you to our tent. ↗️
Nikki: Woohoo! ↗️
Nikki: This is gonna be awesome! ↗️
Gwen: This is gonna be awful. ↗️
David: Oh, come on Gwen! Look at the bright side! ↗️
David: Max made not one, not three, but two new friends today! ↗️
David: *screams in Terror and Pain* ↗️
Gallery
- Main article: Escape from Camp Campbell/Gallery
